Let's Talk About "Powdered" Courage with Zachary Zane (INTERVIEW)
Author Zachary Zane opens up about bisexuality, OCD, and “powdered” courage
Hey, y’all! Welcome to this members-only edition of Beyond Liquid Courage. In addition to my free weekly column, where I answer subscriber questions about alcohol-free dating, intimacy, and relationships, these bonus issues dive deeper into my life as a writer and provide resources to support you on your dry humping journey (wink wink).
But first: I’m co-hosting a sober pride event in Brooklyn this Sunday, June 11th! Grab your ticket here.
Zachary Zane, bisexual icon (bicon) and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. A big part of my research on liquid courage is interviewing non-sober folks and those who identify as sober or in recovery. We’re all impacted by how society expects us to drink socially, especially when it comes to relying on alcohol-induced courage in the bedroom and on dates.
It takes a lot to make a sex columnist feel like a “Charlotte,” but Zane’s work does just that. He goes there—and it’s not just for the tasty thirst traps! His work helps to destigmatize queer sex, bisexuality, OCD, kink, and so much more. I appreciate Zaddy Zane (the term of endearment I frequently use for him) for many reasons, but mostly because we have the same goal in our writing: destigmatizing the taboo.
While my work aims to destigmatize alcohol-free life and sexuality, his work gives language and visibility to being an out-and-proud, bisexual man who’s not just “going through a phase.”
Let’s dive in!
Your book refers to your Liquid Courage Era, a time when “you needed to get hammered to talk to potential hookups.” Can you tell us a bit more about that time?
Initially, I needed liquid courage to explore my bisexuality (i.e., hook up with men). I was just way too nervous to do anything sober, and I was in such denial. Getting hammered gave me an excuse. I could tell myself I wasn't queer; I was just drunk and horny.
But then I became dependent on it. I was unable to hook up unless I was blackout drunk, and that's an issue. Not to mention the hookups aren't usually great because, well, I was sloshed. The first time I hooked up with a man, he was going down on me, and I had to run to the bathroom to vomit in the middle of it… twice. That isn't a fun experience!
How did you graduate from your Liquid Courage Era? What do you do now when you need a boost of courage and you don't want to drink?
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