Interview With Your Fave Instagram Therapist (Part 2)

Amanda E. White, LPC, talks liquid courage, healthy relationships, and productive fighting

Hey, y’all! Welcome to this paid subscriber-only edition of Beyond Liquid Courage. In addition to my free weekly column, where I answer subscriber questions about alcohol-free dating, intimacy, and relationships, these paid issues dive deeper into my life as a writer and provide resources to support you on your dry humping journey (wink wink).

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Before we dive into Amanda’s interview, I want to let y’all know that I’m co-hosting a sober pride event on June 11th in Brooklyn! Grab your ticket here.

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This bonus issue concludes a two-part interview with your favorite Instagram Therapist, Amanda E. White, LPC. You might already be one of the half a million people who follow her on Instagram, or have a copy of her incredible book, Not Drinking Tonight A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love. (And if not, what are you waiting for?!) 

Amanda’s insight is particularly valuable because she has her own sobriety journey in addition to being a therapist who focuses on substance use disorder. I interviewed her for my book, Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze, and I wanted to share some of her wisdom here as a special preview. 

This interview was condensed and edited for clarity.

What’s the difference between physical intimacy and emotional intimacy? And why is it important for someone who's in early sobriety or sober curiosity to learn that difference? 

Emotional intimacy is about being vulnerable, sharing yourself with someone in a way that you wouldn't necessarily share with someone else. Like talking about your hopes, your fears, and what keeps you up at night. I think emotional intimacy is more important than physical intimacy because it builds throughout the relationship. If you can't give language to something, you can't change it. 

It's important for people in early sobriety or sober curiosity to learn the difference between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy because a lot of people use physical intimacy as a crutch. To avoid their feelings, to avoid having hard conversations, to avoid being honest with themselves or someone else. 

A lot of people use alcohol specifically as a way just to create physical intimacy. But it's not real intimacy. That's what your whole book is about, right? Is like how scary it can be to have sex when you're sober. I think it's important to know the difference so that you aren't using it as a crutch and avoiding your emotions.